Beyond the Octopus’s Grip: On Ego, Love, and the Courage to See Clearly
Those who know me know I’m almost allergic to "esoteric" people.
Not because the knowledge itself is worthless. What we call "esoteric" today once meant something precise: inner knowledge, kept for those ready to receive it. We twisted it into a label that hides deeper understanding instead of revealing it. And I see so many use it as a place to escape their pain rather than transcend it. Skimming the surface, some build a new extension of their identity, find another crowd, chase the next chic thing for their trophy list.
To get to what's truly valuable, we have to dissect, penetrate, and challenge it relentlessly. And we have to do the same inside ourselves. Dismantle every internal inhibitor we've built. Only then does the real thing come alive.
What bothers me the most about so-called esoteric people is hearing them say: live from the heart. Be kind, say yes, stay happy, don't judge. All is love. All is one. I always sense the lie in it, or at least the hope. Mostly it just sounds like blissful delusion to me.
It took me a long time to understand what love actually means. Today I'm convinced that the only way humanity pulls back from the edge is for us to find our way back into the heart.
This is where the ego comes in. It can never love unconditionally. Rooted in lack and fear, it has to turn everything into a contract.
But what is it, really?
Not just arrogance or ignorance. That's the tiniest fragment of the truth. The ego is an entire construct, a living framework of false beliefs, programmed thoughts, habitual behaviors, and an army of defense mechanisms. It is the persona we mistake for ourselves. It's an artificial intelligence we installed as a protection program, not because we are so stupid but because we are capable far beyond our own belief. We designed it to help us fit in and survive. Sadly it works at the cost of our memory of who we really are.
Picture this: an octopus on your head, its tentacles wrapped tightly around your mind and body. That is remote control at its finest. Invisible and absolute.
Dissolving the ego takes everything you have: total determination, self-honesty and uncompromising integrity, no matter the cost. And you can't do it alone. You need someone beyond the octopus's grip. Someone who can see the tentacles you've grown blind to, and call them out. Lovingly, without hesitation.
If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve noticed one problem. I seem to carry one of the most insidious forms myself: the so-called spiritual ego. It comes with an extra dose of pride. After all, you’re doing everything right. And it makes you feel like you’ve almost arrived.
To be continued.